You wake up struggling. You get your feet out of bed, the rest of you will soon follow. Welcome to your suffering.
Make your way down the hall, chew on something remotely edible. The day has begun. Give a holler, give a call – try to stop that taxi.
Once at the office, you suddenly feel the urge to flee. Those are not the walls you know, that is not the elevator you take every day – no! It is a death trap, a cleverly laid ruse.
Breath slowly. Don’t let the other see your anxiety. Relax. The music is playing. People are sweating. Ding; means it’s time to get off.
Moving like prey, you dart from cover to cover. Breath deep. Is that coffee you smell?
People are moving by the cooler, better move with the herd.
Finally, safe at your desk. The familiar stacks of paper grin at you mockingly.
This will be another late night. You sip your coffee. Your ulcer burns.
Better call the wife, tell her you’ll be late. What was that? Steps approaching.
Dear God no! Is it the boss? Don’t let it be the boss!
Worse. It’s the Manager. Dolled up like a peacock, ruby red tongue darting out of the mouth. Licking, tasting the air. Tasting and drinking deep of your fear. Your ulcer burns.
“Those reports on my desk, were insufficient. Fix them today and have me that other case
in by seven tomorrow morning. Oh and you have too many sick days, no more for this quarter.” The reptile slithers away, already spewing more poison down the corridor.
You finger a paperclip. Panic. Call the wife, call your therapist? Call mom? No wait, she’s dead. Call the union? Hah, you’re not in one, dumb-ass.
You can hear the walls laughing at you in the cafeteria. You have a sandwich and more coffee to go. No time to eat. But no eating at your desk – company rules. You sneak a bit now and then, when no one is looking. Your ulcer is making your stomach turn.
More coffee at the water cooler. Nervous gazes all around. David was fired last week. The herd is still restless. Quarter report going in soon. The CFO wants more heads cut…
You suffer both diarrhoea and constipation at the same time. Is this even possible? Feels like your pulse is somewhere near the rooftop. Maybe just one more coffee.
Phone beeps, it’s the wife. You don’t dare answer. Bile is building up in your mouth. Another missed dinner. Another step closer to divorce. She doesn’t even yell any more.
The lights start going off. People are leaving. You haven’t even bothered gazing at the clock for hours. Still more to write. More. More. More…
You write something down on a piece of paper. Close the computer. Walk out in a haze. Get in the car. Drive home. Run a red light, veer lane. Your eyes burn, but you see nothing.
The next morning. Someone cleans your desk. Picks up a piece of paper and reads.
”Once the paperwork is done and all the fires have gone out; you sit alone under your umbrella and cry for a little bit of rain; to wash your face, to sooth your tongue, to cool the land and to make you become undone.”
Shrugs, tosses it in the trash and continues taking away your things. Someone else will sit here tomorrow. You won’t have to any more.